Hello. I wouldn’t be sure if anyone’s eyes would capture my blog, but I suppose I can put it all out. That’s what blogs are for.
For three years, I fell inlove with a guy who continuously flirted with me while I was in a relationship with another guy. My relationship at the time was rocky, but this other guy helped me. He made me happy and told me that if my boyfriend ever did something crazy to hurt, then he would be here waiting for me so he could protect me.
Eventually, I ended up turning him down, despite how much I loved him at the time and continued my other relationship that pretty much went to hell. Years later, I still carried feelings for the guy who said he would protect me. I had to guts to ask him out, but it was too late. He had started to date someone else. Later, the two broke up but I didn’t want to rush in to ask. I waited about a year and then a few days ago I cracked my feelings towards him.
He didn’t want to go out with me. My heart was broken and I don’t think I’m taking it so great. I try to get over it, but when I think how lonely I am… I get upset. Sometimes I feel I didn’t want to date him, just pretend to. Emulate love so I feel better when I am here online, because my outside life isn’t so great.
If only I had someone to emulate feelings of love, or of course even actually feel that way. It would be great. Or more so I wish I had a -bestfriend- figure, who I can say anything, do anything I want with them with no worries. Maybe that’s what I wanted from him and I foolishly mistook it for love. I don’t know. But the rejection has torn me apart. It’s been about 3 days. I still feel the pain.
Who would have thought a man such as myself could tell this way…
I wonder if there’s anyone who would find me as a great friend.
I really need someone like that now…
If only life was a shojo manga. I bet someone would read them and suddenly find the need to help me. That would be awesome, haha.